As many of you who know me may know, for the past couple of years I have worn a bracelet that says “CATASTROPHE.” When I’m asked why I wear it, I often say that it’s because it’s my favorite word. While it is one of my favorite words, I also have felt for years that it’s the most accurate word to describe me.
Before I actually sought help and was diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder, I had no way to describe everything in my head. Then, an ex wrote me something, describing me as a “beautiful catastrophe.”
It was perfect. It was me.
I was browsing the Jac Vanek website and saw they had a bracelet with MY word on it. Even more perfect! I bought it and wore it nearly every day for about two years or so.
I haven’t worn any of my bracelets in months… they’re rubber and kind of irritating in the summer. I went to put on my “CATASTROPHE” bracelet this morning, and froze. It didn’t feel right anymore. Maybe it was just bracelets in general? No, my TWLOHA one felt fine.
I think it was the symbolic meaning behind the bracelet. I don’t think of myself as a catastrophe anymore; I really feel like I’m getting my life together.
So I’m moving on. I just ordered myself a new black&white bracelet from a charity I’ve been in contact with. Sometimes letting go of old words is for the best.