This post has been a long time coming. I’ve been trying to find a way to explain my decision to drink very rarely without sounding like I’m attempting to be better than my peers. That’s not the purpose of this at all. The purpose is to lay everything out and explain things to people so that when they ask why I don’t want to go out, I can give clear cut reasons.
Chances are, you’ll probably see me at the bar (at most) three or four times per semester.
On my 21st birthday, instead of getting blackout drunk like I was “supposed” to, I had one shot at midnight and went to bed. Then, after school was done for the day, I went to a four hour tech rehearsal for “Joseph,” went to the bar for an hour or so with castmates afterward, had about four mixed drinks, went home, slept, and got up the next morning to do a presentation.
I have only been truly drunk one time, and I don’t plan to ever do that (or anything even close) again.
I have a few reasons why I don’t like to drink. One big reason is that it fuels my depression and anxiety. If I have more than three drinks, I turn into a total mess — not a drunken mess, but a mental mess. I stay in a funk for a couple of days afterward. It’s really just not fun.
Another reason is that I really, really dislike myself when I have alcohol in my system. I guess that could be a part of the anxiety factor — I constantly find myself wondering why I’m even at the bar or consuming alcohol to begin with. I start to get panicky, second guessing everything I do … again, it’s just not fun.
Oh. Also? I hate crowds. I have a bit of crowd anxiety. And bars are usually crowded. So there’s that.
But I guess what it boils down to is that alcohol really just isn’t for me. Neither of my parents really drink, so maybe that has something to do with it.
So if you ask me to go to the bar and I say no… review the reasons above, and please respect my choice to not drink; trust me, it’s better in the long run that I don’t.