The past two days have been a weird mix of reality and illusion.

I did a lot of solo driving, which gave me a lot of time to think and contemplate and figure out what I wish my life was like and why it isn’t that way.

Seeing my favorite band live threw me into an obsession — the lead singer’s voice is literally the most beautiful thing in my life right now, and even seeing them live wasn’t enough for me. I have never felt such strong emotions toward music. Ever. And I’m having a hard time handling it.

And then I read Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, which may have made the obsession with the indie music scene (and NYC) worse.

And THEN I stupidly read John Green’s Looking for Alaska for a second time, and it is such a heartbreaking book that it left me empty, but it also left me with a burning desire to be a teenager again. Oh man, if I could re-do high school… but seriously though, being 22 (pushing 23) is really starting to scare me.

I’ve said it a hundred times, and I’ll say it again: I get affected SO EASILY. Books and movies, especially, pull me into my head and don’t let me go. This weekend, it was books and music. I am so stuck in my head that it’s scary — I have literally made myself dizzy from reading so much today… I had to force myself to not pick up the next book on my list (It’s Kind of a Funny Story).

I probably just need sleep or something.


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